JUST FOR LAUGHS!!!!!!

Joke 1

JIM: I'm sorry I'm late for school; I was having a dream about football.
TEACHER: Why does having a dream about football make you late for school?
JIM: They played extra time.

Joke 2

After being laid off five different jobs in four months, Arnold was hired by a warehouse. But one day he lost control of a forklift truck and drove it off the loading dock. Surveying the damage, the owner shook his head and said he'd have to withhold 10 % (percent) of Arnold's wages each month to pay for the repairs. "How long will that take?" asked Arnold.
"About four years," said the owner.
"What a relief!" exclaimed Arnold. "I've finally got job security!"

Joke 3

During a college examination, the professor found a student peeking at a classmate's answers.
"How can you cheat so blatantly?" The professor shouted.
You have already stolen more than one look at your classmate's paper!"
Don't blame me sir," replied the student. "If his handwriting weren't so bad, I could have got it all at one glance."

Joke 4

An accountant answered an advertisement for the top job with a large firm. At the end of the interview, the chairman said, "One last question-what is three times seven? (3x7)
The accountant thought for a moment and relied, "Twenty-two."
Outside he checked himself on his calculator and concluded he had lost the job. But two weeks later he was offered the post. He asked the chairman why he had been appointed when he had given the wrong answer.
"You were the closest," the chairman replied.


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