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THE LOVE THING
By Eric Orji
E-mail: ayoadehat@yahoo.co.uk |
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5 ways to boost your man's ego in bed
Men are full of surprises, and bedroom behaviour is no exception. While we can't explain all male behaviour, here are five sex secrets that may help you understand and get even closer to your guy.
1. He's afraid he'll let you down - literally: Men feel tremendous pressure to perform sexually. "In the past, men weren't evaluating their sexual performance because women weren't supposed to judge them," says psychologist George Weinberg, who studies male behaviours in romantic relationships. But women aren't waiting for marriage to have sex anymore, and that means they have more experience in the bedroom. Sexually satisfied female role models encourage women to be open about their sexual desires and complaints. Suddenly, the pressure to perform is on, and he can't help but feel like he has to please you. Even though you might forgive him for a few poor performances, he has a hard time forgiving himself.
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2. Men need validation to get their groove on: Sex is a source of power, and it gives proof that one is masculine. "To a man, having sex means that he can move a woman, that he's an athlete, a provider and a lover," says Weinberg. Basically, your guy wants to be a superhero, and he certainly wants you to see him in that light. When he satisfies you sexually, he feels like Superman. If you're enjoying yourself, let him know that you are happy, adds Weinberg. No encouragement means no mojo. It's simple. Say, "That feels good," or let out a moan or heavy breath when you feel like it. A good rule of thumb: Don't fake it but don't fight it.
3. Men don't like waiting too long to have sex with a new partner: Unlike some dating experts, Weinberg believes that women should never hold out to have sex simply because of the so-called rules of dating. |
He is more likely to commit if there is a sexual component to the relationship, and it is important for him to know that you find him sexually desirable. "A man goes through a lifetime hoping to find a woman who can't keep her hands off him," says Weinberg. "Frankly, if your guy is offended when you initiate sex, get rid of him," he says. We're all sensual beings; we might as well be who we are. So don't be afraid to make a move when the mood strikes.
4. Men wish they had better bodies too: Let's face it: Men may not worry about weight nearly as much as women do, but they do have their own image issues. Most men are quite concerned about their penis size, general physical condition, height and baldness, says Weinberg. In other words, they are hoping for mood lighting in the bedroom just as much as women are. Help your man by telling him that you find him attractive and showing him affection.
5. Most men will not forgive a cheating girlfriend: Men who have been betrayed, especially in the bedroom, are far less likely to forgive their partners than women in the same situation, says Weinberg. Men are looking for a woman who will stick with them. Show your loyalty not only by remaining faithful when in a committed relationship, but also by supporting your man in front of colleagues and friends and defending him when necessary, says Weinberg. This allegiance will make your man more secure and will give him the motivation to let loose in the bedroom with you. Men want commitment just as much as women do; they just want it packaged differently.
Should I tell her?
Dear LoveThing,
I fell in love with one of my sister's friends. At first, I thought it was just a crush, but it's been a while and the feelings haven't gone away. My sister's other friends know how I feel about this girl and tell me I should say something to her.
I'm confused because sometimes she acts as if she likes me too, but other times she totally ignores me. I'm too chicken to ask her out because I don't want to make her feel awkward and put her in a difficult situation (me being her best friend's brother and all).
--TONY
**I can understand how you feel in this situation. One thing to consider is that since her other friends know about how you feel they have probably mentioned something to her. It could be that she also has feelings, but doesn't want to feel awkward about it either. The thing you need to ask yourself is whether the risk is worth the potential reward, or the potential heartbreak?
Knowing where you stand one way or the other has got to be better than obsessing and wondering. If you think you love her, or are interested in her, just get her by herself and tell her. If you don't want to make the situation uncomfortable for her, then just ask her out on a date and see how it goes from there. Even if it's only a baby step, it's still a step towards something positive. If you keep both of your best interests at heart, you really can't make a mistake in the way you approach it.
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Email: ayoadehat@yahoo.co.uk
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