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THE LOVE THING
By Eric Orji
E-mail: ayoadehat@yahoo.co.uk |
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Make this a Christmas to remember by saying I love you in new, refreshing ways. These active, practical tips about love will go a long way! Knowing how to say “I love you” at Christmas can make your holidays happier and more fun.
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1. How to say “I love you” with thoughtful Christmas gifts:
*Start early. One of the least loving, most thoughtless things you can do is shop at the last minute. You end up buying overpriced, useless, or tacky gifts – and that’s definitely not an effective way to say “I love you” at Christmas. The earlier you think about gifts, the better.
*Listen for hints and suggestions throughout the year. For example, if she mentions that stress is causing muscle pain, give a gift certificate for a massage therapist or day spa. If he hates housework, give him a six-month or one-year supply of housecleaning services. If she loves skiing, organize a ski weekend to break up the February blahs.
*Ask friends and family for suggestions. They may notice things you don’t about your lover, and offer the perfect way to say I love you at Christmas. Consider talking to colleagues, neighbors or even acquaintances for creative ideas. Don’t forget to swear them to secrecy.
*Be creative. Give an annual pass to the zoo, aquarium, science world, sports team or theme park. Spring for a weekend retreat or two nights at a bed and breakfast; look into dog or cat shows or upcoming concerts. Find things you can do together (a perfect way to say “I love you”).
2. How to say “I love you” in practical Christmas ways:
Saying “I love you” at Christmas isn’t just about gifts, it’s about action. Here are some practical ways to show your love during the holiday season.
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*Host the party. If you and your spouse are having the family over for dinner, do a role reversal. If your partner usually plans the party, offer to take it on instead – or play a more active role. If you’re hesitant about cooking or planning a meal, do a little Google or family research.
*Do the dirty work. One of the best ways to say “I love you” at Christmas is to clean the house or take on some other responsibility without being asked. Take care of the cat’s litterbox or dog’s bath time. Offer to bake the cookies or cook the turkey. If you have a live tree, clean up the needles and keep it watered.
Sometimes the little things are the best way to say “I love you” at Christmas.
*Express your love and appreciation often. Don’t leave it until Christmas to say “I love you.” Make it a habit to share your warm and fuzzy feelings every day.
Another woman wants my man
Dear LoveThing,
My husband came home from his office party talking about a female colleague. From what he told me about their conversation, it's obvious that she is after him, although my husband says they are just friends. I don't think my marriage is bad. Is there something wrong with our relationship that he would enjoy this friendship? I'm friendly with men at work, but I'm careful not to encourage anyone with hopes of anything more than friendship. What should I do... ADA...
**This teeters on the edge of what is acceptable in a long-term, committed relationship. Did you know that it’s common for men and women to be attracted to other members of the opposite sex throughout their lives? That does not mean that any action is taken. Everyone in a marriage is entitled to meet new people and even develop significant bonds with others.
However, when that bond consists of sexual attraction it can cause havoc. Often, couples I work with tell me that they are jealous of their partner’s new or old friendships. They feel that it takes away from their friendship with their partner, or that their spouse is really not telling them the truth about this other friendship. Above all, remember: Not all male-female friendships end up in bed. Still, sometimes that sense of closeness, maybe even intimacy, can seem threatening to you and your partner’s relationship. But what’s important is whether they keep things friendly, or allow them to turn sexual. The domestic routines of marital life; shopping, cooking, washing up, paying the bills, can dampen the sexy side of your relationship. Make sure you’re not bogged down in these routines, and invest energy in your marriage to keep it interesting, comfortable to live in, and sexy.
I suggest that you sit your husband down and tell him how much you love him. Let him know what a hot lover you think he is. Explain to him how you feel about this female colleague. Then discuss that you understand that most people find others interesting and attractive at different times during the course of a marriage, and what really matters is what you do with that.
Encourage him to set clear and careful boundaries concerning his colleague. Flatter him a bit and, find out what’s on his mind, and in his heart and groin for her; real or fantasy. Then use your feminine wiles to remind him why he married you. You are in charge of this. But, unless you set the record straight, up front, before he strays, he may get lost in the confusion that results when a man realises that another woman finds him attractive.
Remind him of just who his Number One Woman is, that is you.
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