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THE LOVE THING
By Eric Orji
E-mail: ayoadehat@yahoo.co.uk |
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HAVE you ever felt frustrated trying to get the one you want to want you back? Have you ever felt like the cause was hopeless and there's just nothing you can do to win their heart? Such frustrations are common. All human beings are subject to such frustrations.
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While there is no way to completely avoid them, there is a way to overcome them and find success. The way requires a basic understanding of those principles that motivate the human heart, followed by a patient application of those principles. If you will systematically apply those principles in a well thought out strategy, you will ultimately reap the rewards of your efforts.
Applying the principles is up to you, but today I wanted to share with you a few truths relating to love and romance:
1. "In Love" is a form of dependency:- Therefore, if you want someone to be in love with you, you will have to make up your mind to meet their emotional needs so that they can grow dependent upon you. This includes hundreds of hours of listening to them while they talk while you, for the most part, are just attentively silent.
2. People are attracted to independence and repulsed by those who seem to cling:- Therefore, to avoid scaring off a potential love you must throw in a lot of apparent aloofness while trying to win them. If you think this may confuse the one you want about your real intentions, you're right. Sorry, but that's just the way it needs to be in the early stages of romance.
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3. People's conscious decisions are subconsciously motivated:- Therefore, don't be too concerned by what the one you want says they think they want, or acts like they think they want. You should act on principle and eventually they'll realize that what they really want is you.
4. People are most drawn to a person with a positive and confident self-image:- Resist the temptation to spill your feelings of self-doubt. Nothing is a bigger turn-off than somebody who insists on bursting your bubble and destroying the image they want to have of you.
5. People's attitudes are really a reflection of what you think of them:- While not wearing your heart on your sleeve, you must still prove though your actions that your friendship to them is a committed one. This takes time.
6. The longer a relationship grows, the stronger it becomes:- If you mess up along the way, take comfort in the fact that tomorrow is another day, and the fact that you prove you have lasted and learned from yesterday's hardships, will in itself increase their feelings of commitment to you in the long run.
Has he lost interest?
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Dear LoveThing,
My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year. At first it was amazing! He devoted almost all of his time to me and we had a house together and everything. Unfortunately, we lost our house because we're young and couldn't exactly afford it. Now, we're staying in different places and don't see each other very much. He wants to take this travelling job. It makes me feel like he's just trying to take the easy way out, like he wants to split up but doesn't exactly want to be the one to have to do it. He says he's trying hard to get us a new house, but it's been four months since we've had one. I just feel alone and like he doesn't care. I need more time with him for this to work. I don't know what to do. Should I feel the way I do? What is your opinion?
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**It seems like you're really spending a lot of attention on what's going wrong for you. Your guy is out there trying to save money and get a job to help you both out. Instead of giving him the support he deserves, you're complaining that he isn't spending enough time with you. Even worse, you've accused him of not loving you. It's not like everything stayed the same in your relationship and all of a sudden his interest has waned.
There are very real reasons behind the changes.
Sometimes you just need to face that reality isn't getting to be with your partner whenever you want. Does it suck that the only job he feels he could get right now is one that will cause you to be apart even more? Yes! Should you ask him about how he feels about it, or why he feels he needs to take this particular job? Yes! You might be a little too focused on your needs right now instead of your needs as a couple. A little inconvenience might just be worth the time together later. Talk it over and really try to see where he's coming from.
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