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YESTERDAY, I was having a little conversation with some boys and girls when another girl came to join us, I didn't know this one, so she was introduced as is the case in basic human interactions. Now it just so happened that this new one was a good friend of the other girlÕs brother and when she jovially invited this junior brother out on a date, the sister made a move that was so smooth I had to clap my hands.
This sister just took one smooth step, chest high, and came to stand straight between her junior brother and her own friend and warned her sternly: “my brother is innocent don't come and spoil him for me.” I marveled at the defense she mounted for her brother against her own friend and I thought; see how she loves her brother.
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Today, I stepped out of my house to go one more time to the hustle that is this life, and the moment I stepped out; I had an erection! I tell you my friend, it was just that fast, and that quick; so quick I doubt if any scientist can measure the speed at which this happened, I doubt very much. And I wondered what this woman who just passed by my door would do if I were her brother or son or better still, husband and she witnessed another woman do the same to me. |
But I didn't have much time to wonder, because the transition from man to dog was just as fast and so all of a sudden I saw nothing but bone, it was just too juicy to let go, and the scent was just that strong to lose. Besides I didn't want to let another dog get close and so I followed madam for a piece of bone.
I followed madam with the bone because here was bone, with two round tops so juicy I could hear it scream, eat me! You find me offensive? I find you equally offensive for finding me offensive. But back to the story, I followed madam with the bone and played my time tested tricks, I begged and rolled over on my back, and stood on three paws with one hanging in the air and she said I was such a good boy dog, she also told me to come around in the evening when she had properly refined bone, dipping it in stew and all, and she would be glad to indulge my appetite.
O happy day! I shouted and barked and rolled over some more to show my appreciation. Why, you think I'm a foolish dog, to go and steal bone when I can beg for it? I'm a smart dog, and so I'll beg, at the end of the day, when I get the bone I seek, who cares if I stick around to say thank you, after all, if bone deserves eating you eat it and if it screams to be eaten, why I must do justice to it.
That reminds me of a story Nana Ampadu told some time back when I was a small boy. In this story, the lion king decided to go without meat, but some antelope came teasing and testing him and telling him point blank he had no teeth, so the lion king ate the antelope and as a result the other animals forfeited their new found freedom. Serves her right too, since she was too foolish to value her freedom in the first place and decided substitute folly with freedom. Do you still find me offensive? I think my reaction today is perfectly justified, if you play with the trigger of a gun it fires, and that is all. The bullet doesn't care where it lands, the gun has been fired and the bullet discharged and that is all there is to it.
Back to the story, when I went and madam had prepared the bone, it was, true to her words, just right. And when she served me a piece I bit in with all the appetite that was in me, and she was pretty happy. I left madam then, after eating, and didn't say thank you. when I got back to my ghetto in the evening I realized that some of the meat on the bone had got stuck in my teeth and I was finding it difficult to pluck it out, and to complicate matters my own madam realized that I've been a bad dog, because of the meat in my teeth and she is not happy. Threatening to sack me and all; but that's not my issue, the meat stuck in my teeth is proving difficult to come out, and I might have to go see the veterinary officer.
It is quite sad, but it is now that I remember that I am a man and that at the very least I should stay a man and not play dog, because I was born a man and even dogs know their times and seasons and better; dogs with the leash of a man are able to behave in a manner that is above the average behaviour of a normal dog.
I am reminded now of a saying my grandfather used to say to me when I was sick and didn't want to drink my medicine because it was bitter. He said boy, only a man can take the bitter pill to effect healing. And I realize now that what he meant to tell me is that the fact that I can justify my not drinking the medicine was no excuse since the only way I could get healed from my disease was to keep taking my bitter pills until the disease is gone, and better; not be so foolish as to get myself in the same mess again.
But it's hard, very hard, with all the sweet bones screaming to be eaten, and all the antelopes daring all the lions to go into action, bruising the ego and instigating reactions of a single end, it is hard! But like the old man said, it takes a man to drink the bitter pill. And though there is enough justification for my action, I know that the brave man is not the one who has no fear, but the one who, inspite of the fear is able to withstand for one more second. I also know that if I go out to play football and there is no one to play against there is no joy in the goal I score and so I use the opposition to prove to myself that I can overcome.
This does not give room for the ladies to abuse my freedom either. Though they feel justified in their expression of freedom of fashion, or if folly be a better word let it be, I pray that they reconsider their stand, for if I feel justified in my action and they feel justified in their action, and we all feel justified in our action and there is justification for everything, which is true, then we all are heading towards a chaotic society where everyone will get up and do whatsoever he wishes, and there will be no standard for anyone to live by.
But we have a standard in the law of love, which says to love your neighbour as yourself even as you love God above all. And so I beg my sisters, to treat me as they would their brother, and as they would their sons, and as they will not be happy to see their husbands looking at another woman, let them dress accordingly so that other peopleÕs husbands and brothers and sons will not be negatively attracted to them also, for this is an integral world, and what goes around does come around. And so as they want their men protected, like in the case of the sister above, let them protect other men too. In other words if a woman is dressing, let her consider what effect her dress is going to have on another man, say another husband and let her put her own husband in that situation with another lady and if she likes the result let her go ahead and dress accordingly. I beg the ladies of my generation, look to your role models, look to the first ladies and the presidents, to the Rices and the Sirleafs and the queens and all the leading women in this world and see if they dress with their booties hanging out and let them dress accordingly.
I challenge all ladies to stand up to their right of decency and to stand up to all the peepers who want to have a field day of their beauties in the streets and dress accordingly. I beg all ladies to remember that the fashion they exult today will be the tradition of tomorrow, and if this is the type of world they would like to expose their children and future husbands and brothers to, then by all mean, let them expose themselves. But if not, then let them stand up to their right of decency, telling the designers in the face that if they do not design decent dresses, then they the ladies are going to pick up the needle and thread and make their own clothing.
Part two of the Today ? article will be in the next edition.
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